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Loading ...Each of you knows someone that is a total fucking sextard – you know, the guy (or gal) that is totally retarded when it comes to getting laid…… Well in my case, I become a total sextard after about 2/3rds a bottle of Jack – add a pretty girl to the scene and I’m totally clueless. This pic was shot at one of my parties – and I’m betting I didn’t have any pants on either but lucky for you – the camera person saved you the agony of looking at my dong while I was in sextard mode.
Sextard With Violet
In any case, being in porn subjects me to a lot of sextards – like the lady at Walgreens that asks why I bring in a different neighbor girl each week for the “day-after-pill”, or dumb ass wigger that thinks he’ll be the next porn superstar with his massive 5″ white-boy penis. Sure, many of the girls are sextards too. Like the time Shay first saw my huge cock and threw up her hands and said “no fucking way”, I just grinned and said, “watch me”. After ramming the entire thing in her tight little teen pussy, I looked at her and said YES FUCKING WAY, SEXTARD!
Or the time Baily showed up for a photo shoot with a yeast infection so bad that I could have had cottage cheese and peaches if I had just remembered to bring the fucking peaches. Girl, wash your cunt before a fucking nude photo shoot, SEXTARD!
And don’t forget the dumbass on MySpace that sends a girl a picture of his cock and asks if she wants to fuck – stupid fuckin move SEXTARD!
I could go on, but you get the picture.
If you want to hear more stupid shit and see tons of great porn that even a sextard can appreciate, visit sextards.com today.
• Posted in Mister Richard's Friends, neighbor girl, penis, sextard, sextards, stupid fuckin, stupid shit, teen pussy, wigger
(No Ratings Yet) Loading ...So there was this guy in Vegas. And what happened doesn’t stay there. Here we go.
I was starting the night off at 5pm when I woke up. Tarty to the party I was catching up with drinking. There was someone I had followed around to different parties that night and met all kinds of people. One guy was very nice and I had fun chatting with him for the brief period of time I could. There was a couple that i talked to for a long time and I very much liked the conversation about the book “The Bone House” (yes, I remembered it). Even who I was following from party to party was cute. Or even the guy who sat on my lap and kissed my cheeck for a cute picture. (blushing)
So I stayed up and after I knew it, it was 7 am. Then 8 am. I had one choice if I wanted to get fucked that night. Attempt to fuck the one guy left around. The others- guys and girls- had long since retired. I was kinda feelin funny about it but earlier I had realized that time of the month had rolled around. Fuckin wonderful, right?! So instead of gaining a strange glare from someone I might have to speak to at a later time- business shit if anything binding- I would rather drag someone back who wouldn’t care or maybe even not remember. Hence the one sitting next to me at the time.
“…are you inviting me up to your room?” But he had like five other people sleeping in a fuckin hotel room. So I figured mine would be better. Despite the everlasting comments and jokes that I would get out of Papa. You all figured that I’m a bad judge of this shit. So anyway he came back with me and as I was realizing what the fuck I was attempting to fuck. “I could gnaw on your bloody clit all night…” was the line I really cared about.
The guy was carrying around a bottle of Jack Daniel’s around and I thought he would be able to get it up. Yeah fuckin right! If there is anything I should know by now is that sex and alcohol only mix when there hasn’t been too much drinking to begin with. And his whole two inches was a bad surprise to ice that cake. TWO INCHES! Just thought I’d emphasize that. Yep. So he couldn’t get it up you say? Yep.
I don’t think I had ever laughed so hard at someone’s inadequacies in my life. It was hilarious. I tried to hold it in, but wound up holding my face while I about died and falling off the bed laughing hysterically.
Fuckin guy said that he had to “step in” on some scenes when they couldn’t do what he at the time couldn’t perform either. Ha ha ha ha ha! He couldn’t even get it up nevertheless could he put his tiny cock in my pussy. (That made me laugh so much more.) He did make it somewhat worthwhile but when he spoke of shoving his whole fist in there i told him to get the fuck out of my room. I let him wash his hands and then he left. Good thing too. I was actually getting irritated that he was still there. Yeah, I know that it was me to make that fucked up decision but still…
Funny shit- he wandered back to the elevator to go to his room when he was greeted by Papa. Shirt covered in blood and barely able to stand, Papa had a good laugh at him like I did. About that, we still laugh to this day.
• Posted in Jack's Truths, MILF, brunette, drunk, funny, ink and metal, penis, small, small tits, vegas
(1 votes, average: 8.00 out of 10) Loading ...
She’s a mean little girl, but you’d never guess. Maddy thought it would be a good idea to draw tiny penises with wings all over her brother’s bass gutar with pink permanent marker. This is just fucked up! I mean what the hell? That is a sacred thing. As a musician myself, that’s just wrong. So he wanted revenge. Tommy had a show that night and needed an emergency paint job that had a price of $700.
Papa has the perfect medicine for that kind of sickness. Maddy explained herself and was confronted with the decision- “Should I fuck the old guy in front of my brother?” She was resistant at first but she couldn’t help the easy out and a chance to cum… dirty little slut! The only catch is that she gets to fuck in front of her brother while he films it. And she gladly accepted. I think she even liked it a little much. Watch and why don’t you see for yourself!
Want another side to this story from the guy that fucked her?
Tags: brother, little slut, mean little girl, petite teen, revenge, sister, sister fucked • Posted in Jack's Truths, Maddy, Teen, Tommy, amateur, bass, big tits, blonde, brother, guitar, penis, pink, sister, wings
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